Day 99

So today I came......it was okay......but it wasn't really meant to happen so it was pretty much a wasted orgasm and for that I got a day added to my chastity.  So now in total I have an additional 4 days of chastity (I'll have to confirm towards the end of the year through my blog).  Today's was interesting though because it was with the device still on, which is the only way that I came a few times when I was locked up in the silicone device previously for 90 days.   That was always interesting and fun in it's own way, but it was really different because each of those times were very intentional.



Yeah this was just blah...and is adding to the frustration of being locked up, but that is certainly part of the experience.  It was an experience that is hard to describe ad hard to explain how it adds to the frustration.  But I think it's best described as cumming really isn't my focus at all and unless I'm out of the device I don't even really want it to happen.  It's something that I don't really express because I rarely ask things of my play partners.  I really enjoy them doing the things that they want to and them using me for their pleasure because that's what gives me pleasure.  I know that for some people this includes getting me off, but personally it's not necessary and not what's fun for me.  The pleasure for me comes from using the rest of my body, every inch of it, to torment me and excite me while I'm in chastity.  I find the torture of it all to really be the thing that gets me off and lets me feel the release that I so crave.

And for some reason this cum, didn't really feel like a release...  Maybe because of the lack of intention of it and because it wasn't what I wanted.  It was almost torturous but not in the good way, which is another thing that I don't quite understand.  Like I just said I like the torture, but because I couldn't stop it and didn't really want it to happen it was just not a good experience.

In summary I didn't think an orgasm could be unpleasurable but this one taught me that it can happen.